A New Way Forward
by FunkyBetsy
Summary: Secret Santa gift for Lilsciencequeen - Jemma struggles to find her way forward after S.H.I.E.L.D


Jemma stood in the living room of her perfect, Perthshire cottage and reached out to adjust a picture hanging on the wall for the fourth time. She had already cleaned and polished the cottage to within an inch of its life, had tried her hand at baking the most complicated recipe in her cookbook, and was now trying not to fuss with the decor.

In a word, she was Bored.

When Bobbi and Hunter had been forced to leave S.H.I.E.L.D, it had thrown everyone into a tailspin, Jemma and Fitz included. And after several late night talks, the two had come to the conclusion that maybe they needed to leave as well. Take off and start their own, new adventure. Buy that cottage in Perthshire they were always talking about in their plans for the future. Maybe even start a family.

But leaving S.H.I.E.L.D and starting a new life was fine in theory; in practice it was something else altogether. In fact, Jemma was finding herself having doubts on the hour these days.

Fitz had been snapped up by an engineering firm almost before their resignations were on Coulson's desk. His reputation was well known to those outside of S.H.I.E.L.D and he had his pick of offers. He chose a firm doing cutting edge design that allowed him to work from home half the week, and commute to London for the other half, where they put him up in a hotel. True, he had to be away from Jemma three days a week, but he was much happier this way, doing what he loved, knowing that the world was not about to fall apart at the blink of an eye.

Jemma was having a harder time, however. When she had been recruited for S.H.I.E.L.D academy, it had been with a layer of remove for cover that hadn't bothered her at the time, but was becoming very inconvenient now.

Jemma had been forced to tell her parents - and the world at large - that she had given up science and was working as an event planner. S.H.I.E.L.D had required this subterfuge so that she wouldn't be constantly bombarded with requests from other facilities for her to join their staff. She was a brilliant researcher, and S.H.I.E.L.D needed her to stay in the shadows. So, an event planner she was to the world.

Now, however, having left S.H.I.E.L.D, she found that she was having trouble finding new work. Yes, she had two Phds, but she also had no relevant or useful resume. S.H.I.E.L.D was essentially seen as a terrorist organization, so coming out with a Surprise! That's what I've been doing for the last several years probably wouldn't go over well. And it was a little hard to explain the event planning resume that S.H.I.E.L.D had concocted for her when she attempted to get research-based jobs.

So, while Fitz was working at his dream job and living the life in London three days a week, Jemma was stuck in Perthshire, bored out of her mind.

At first it had been exciting! Picking out their own home and getting it set up the way that they wanted it. But that excitement didn't last long, and she was sure that her parents and friends were getting tired her daily phone calls. Only Fitz and Hunter weren't showing signs of being over her predicament.

"You're brilliant!" Fitz had declared his last night home before he left for London. "Someone is going to realize that, and offer you the chance to head up your own lab. Or! You could apply for a research grant. Start working from the house like I have, and who knows? In a year or so, you'll have the experience to get noticed regardless of what your resume looks like."

But Jemma isn't sure. The problem is that without S.H.I.E.L.D, she's directionless. After years of high stakes and quick actions, being left to her own devices is hard. Some days it feels like too big of an adjustment to make, and she finds herself having trouble just getting out of bed in the mornings. This is why she created her new routine of baking, cleaning, and organizing. But weeks on end of this have meant that their freezer is full, people hide when they see her coming to avoid being handed a plateful of treats, and the house is so clean it almost squeaks. It's painfully obvious to everyone that Jemma needs something more to do, but what?

"What you need," Hunter told her over the phone on one of their weekly conversations, "Is something completely new and different. Take Bob and me. We had to leave S.H.I.E.L.D when you did, and remember, Bob's a biochemist, too, as well as a trained agent. And here she is, working as a P.I., getting the dirt on all kinds of companies for that law firm she's working for. And me, you know I can find something to do anywhere," he finished with an audible smirk.

"You mean you're doing something only semi-legal, don't you?" Jemma laughed. It felt like the first time she had smiled in days.

"Enough about me, fascinating as the subject is," Hunter hurried on, "You need to think outside the box, love. You're still thinking like a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, when you should be thinking as a Free agent. What is it that you want to do with yourself? Skies the limit, love!" Hunter paused for a moment, clearly listening to something going on behind him. "Listen, love, gotta go, but think about what I said, yeah?" And with that, he rang off, leaving Jemma more confused than ever.

Hunter was right, she decided later. She was still thinking like a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, waiting for her orders or the next emergency to throw herself into. She didn't need to though… she was startled from her thoughts by the oven timer beeping; the cookies she had started earlier were done.

She went to take them out - they were a surprise for Fitz, a recipe for shortbread that his mother had made. She was surprised by the way that the cookies looked, however, upon taking them out of the oven. Oddly flat and far too crumbly. Her first instinct was self flagellation; now she couldn't even do something as simple as make some cookies!

But after a minute, her scientific curiosity kicked in; what had made the cookies like this? She had followed the recipe to the letter…

When Fitz returned from London a day later, it was to a manic Jemma, a kitchen in complete disarray, and about 17 different batches of shortbread covering every available surface.

"What. The. Hell." he said upon entering the kitchen.

"Fitz!" Jemma launched herself on him excitedly, getting floury handprints on his back. Fitz was nonplussed. On the one hand, he was thrilled to see her so happy; she had been so clearly miserable for so long he hadn't been able to relax and enjoy himself in his new job as much as he would have liked. He worried about her constantly when he was away, which was why he was so delighted to see her happy now.

On the other hand, though, the kitchen looked like a shortbread bomb had gone off, and Jemma looked like she hadn't slept in days. Her hair was pulled into a sloppy ponytail, she was wearing a button down shirt with a pair of pajama pants, two different slippers, and she had shortbread dough crusted on her face.

"Simmons," he began cautiously, "what's going on?"

Jemma answered him in a rapid babble while she pulled another tray of shortbread out of the oven, poked the cookies with a knife and made a note on a dough-crusted sheet of paper covered with similar notes on the table.

"Well, you know how I was looking for something to do when we left S.H.I.E.L.D, and I couldn't find a job in my field, because I had that cover story, and then I was talking to Hunter, and he told me that I needed to think outside the box, and THEN, I was trying to make your favorite shortbread cookies for you, but they came out weird, and I wondered why that was, so I started looking into it, and I discovered that it might have been the baking soda, and I wondered why THAT was, so I decided to come up with my own rising agent, one that wouldn't be as impacted by things like humidity, or age, because those things can ruin your baking, and so can altitude, and oven temperature, and a whole number of other things, and I figured that if I have this problem, then other people also have this problem, and I'm a scientist, and I can solve this, so I've been tinkering, and I think I've gotten it right, but it needs a few more tests, and maybe I need to try it on a really rainy day, maybe tomorrow, they did say it was going to rain, and maybe I need to try it at a different altitude, too, just to be sure, and wouldn't it be nice if we still had access to the bus?" she continued speaking a mile a minute.

Fitz meanwhile just stared at her, one hand on his head, listening and trying to take it all in. When she showed no signs of stopping, he gently took away the mixing bowl and spatula she was holding, and led her to the bedroom.

"Jemma. This is great. I'm really, really happy that you've found something to do, and I'm sure your new rising agent will change lives everywhere, but when was the last time you slept? Or ate? Or showered?" he asked, pulling pieces of shortbread from her ponytail.

Jemma deflated slightly now that she was away from her work in the kitchen. "Oh. I think it has been a while, hasn't it?" she asked sheepishly. "I just got so excited to finally have a project and a chance to solve a problem."

"Totally understandable," Fitz told her, rubbing her back, "But I think now we should get you cleaned up and fed, and you should probably get some sleep. I'll clean up the kitchen, and in the morning, you can show me your new formula. A new bakery just opened up the road; maybe you can have them test it out next? Who knows, you might be turning the baking world on its ear within the next few months!"

Jemma smiled at him, leaning into his side. Fitz was back from London, she had discovered a new passion for baking that let her use her scientific mind, and the world was looking a lot brighter than it had been just a few days before.


End file.
